Just A Little Summer Note - Fun way to manage pain & Happy me.

12:35 AM AirplaneFoodCritic 0 Comments

My doctor told me I need to get full spectrum light as part of my therapy. My other doctor told me I need to swim more. These are fantastic things. I have been laying out naked as directed by my Pain manager. I do it for about 20 minutes with no sunblock on. As a result I have been getting a wonderful tan. No surprise, I'm sure. Everyone around me is telling me how fantastic I look. I am no longer bothering to wear makeup when I go out because my skin is so freaking nice.

I went to see my Primary Care Physician to get my disability extended. The first thing he told me was how beautiful I look. Ha! This is actually NOT what I want to hear from someone whom I am trying to convince I am too sick to work! But he knows I am unable to do any physical activity and he extended it through May. I will be on my trip then. I explained to my doctor that I don't have much to do besides sit around and put moisturizer on.


Another great compliment I got was from a close friend of the bf's who came over to hang out as he does on most weekends. He didn't realize that I am almost ten years older than the bf apparently. He was talking about a woman he wanted to hook up with when he goes to Hawaii with his work next month. He wasn't all that sure because she is 40 and he is 24. I said, "Hey, I'll be 40 next year!". The look on his face and the gasp of disbelief felt mighty good.



Two weeks ago I started driving again. That has changed my whole life. I am free to go where I choose. I spend my days at the beach with my dog, at the park with my dog, shopping for treats to bring home and cook for the bf.

What I am trying to say is I am HAPPY. I am truly truly happy. I love my life. I love my dog. I love my family. And my relationship with the bf is like newlyweds every single day of my life. We are like teenagers the way we act towards one another. I know some of my friends who may be reading this will agree wink wink @ G. I really have a charmed life.


I wake up staring into the eyes of the man I love and I see how much he loves me as he looks back. I lay in bed, yes, in pain, but happy, appreciative of my beautiful home, my fancy stuff. I have no worries. My job is paying me full pay. The bf wants to completely support me and he certainly could but I love to work. I love that my job is still there so I have no worries about losing it. That leaves me laying in bed at 10am, knowing I have nothing to do but to get better. I spend all day focused on me. I buy clothes, I shop, I eat frozen yogurt. Mom and I go out and play all day. I am so fortunate she is retired so we can be like girlfriends and have fun. I go out on lunch dates with my other friends. At night, I no longer have to get up at 4am the next day, so I stay up with the bf. We snuggle on the couch. We never stop telling each other we are in love. He opens the doors for me every time, even the car....after over five years!! Never in my life, even when I was married, have I been so certain that someone unconditionally loves me and puts me before everything like I do with this fella. (family not included). My mom is there for me, my brother is there for me, my dad is always there for me. I am one loved individual. I have not even mentioned all that my Aunt, uncle and cousins do for me.


I spent this evening literally dancing in the moonlight after what my friend said was "a perfect day" and I agree. We went to the beach, flew kites, splashed, built sandcastles, read books, tanned (need my full spectrum!) then played basketball in downtown Stinson. We picked up frozen yogurt (can you tell how much I love that stuff??) and came back to our house. I cooked a FANtastic dinner. (love to cook!) Then we used the telescope after watching a movie. The rest of the night was spent dancing under the stars. What could be better in life?


I go to sleep every night and thank the cosmos for...or maybe I just take stock of....the wonderful things in my life. I am free. Free of money worries, looks worries, relationship worries, free of drama and cares. I can do anything I want. And I want to go to Europe and spend tons of money and hike in the Alps and make out with my boyfriend and eat lots of cheese and walk cobbled streets, drink beer, get lost in a cute village because I was reading the map upside down, kiss in the rain (or the mist from the Rheinfals), sleep in castles, surround myself with art, architecture, music ...sorry, run-on there....but yeah.
I just want to share how sensational my life is. I am walking on air. Sure, I have chronic pain, but that is part of who I am and it has given me the opportunity to spend this time (I have not worked in over half a year) with the ones I love. I have cared and been cared for. I have the time to travel the world, go camping, practically live at the beach....I don't want this to be bragging and I do not believe it comes off that way. I want people who are in pain to read this, I want people who know me to read this and read "THANK YOU" and read "GOOD FOR HER" and read "THIS CAN BE ME TOO"

Cheers, friends. Here's to you and here's to me. A little toast I have always made when sharing a drink is:

"Here is to being attractive and intelligent".
I appreciate every second of it.